Twilight Sparkle is Best Bridezilla

Posted on Feb 18, 2013

Twilight Sparkle is Best Bridezilla

I am an unabashed fan of My Little Pony. I could go on for ages about all the reasons why I love it, but this isn’t the place to do so. For those who care, Spoilers lie ahead, for those that are really confused, hang in there, this will all come back around to weddings and make sense, I swear.

So, the season 3 finale was on this weekend. Just like every weekend I can, I was curled up on the couch watching TV, threatening dismemberment to anyone who would dare disturb my 22 minutes of solitude. Now, what was really controversial about this particular episode, is the adorakable unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, was going to be turned into an omnipotent alicorn princess. Again, there is a TON of back story that needs to be understood in order to grasp the severity of what a BIG FUCKING DEAL this is, but this again is not the place for it. In fact, the point of this post has NOTHING to do with the Princess-ification of Twilight Sparkle! *What a twist!*

See, at the beginning of the episode, Twilight is literally dancing around, singing about how life is just perfect. Then the song comes to a jarring halt, as she gets a bunch of rainwater dumped on her head, by the mischievous weather pony Rainbow Dash (my personal favorite). But what is this? The weather is being tasked to by the fashionista Rarity? Whaaaa? Cue theme song. Through the episode, we find Twilight Sparkle got a book from her mentor Princess Celestia, a book that contained an unfinished spell written by Star Swirl the Bearded, a spell Celestia insisted Twilight could finish. In her eagerness to prove her bookish work ethic, Twilight rushes through the existing (and flawed) spell, basically creating an alternate universe where she has switched all her friends’ cutie marks and destinies. As a result, her friends are miserable, trying their best at things they suck at, because it’s what they’re supposed to do. Fluttershy the pony sad in the rain surrounded by angry poniesThey don’t know Twilight screwed everything up, they just assume this is how life is supposed to be. (I’m trying really hard not to break out into song right now). As a result, horrible things happen, livelihoods are ruined, and Twilight feels awful. Then she has a stroke of genius.

Starting with Fluttershy, the soft-spoken, willowy introvert, Twilight tells her how Dash needs her help. (Animals are in the process of making a Rainbow Dash stew, supposedly because she hadn’t fed them in 4 days. I get it, I mean she normally lives a semi-nomadic lifestyle with a pet tortoise, you can’t get much more low maintenance than that. Although the imagery of a bloodthirsty chicken with a fork is kind of amazing.) Rainbow Dash the pony, tied with rope, screaming while sitting in a cooking pot surrounded by angry animals, including a chicken, bear, owl, and bat, holding eating utensils Now Fluttershy doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t know much about animals, this isn’t her thing, she is a party pony, she knows because the balloons on her butt tell her so, in spite of the fact her failure at fun has morphed the entire town of happy candy colored ponies into angry embittered nags. But because Dash is her friend and needs her help, she goes for it. And by God, she’s good at it! Fluttershy and Twilight then urge Rainbow Dash to help Rarity, and so on and so on, each pony going outside of their comfort zone to help their friend, not because it’s something they wanted to do, but because they loved their friend and wanted to help.

Now what does this have to do with weddings? SO MUCH! See, first time I watched this, I was pretty meh about the whole thing. But then I rewatched the True True Friend song. And I cried. Why? Because forget for a second that these are cartoon ponies created to sell toys. Think of it like any other show, reality, drama, comedy, what have you. This band of friends got together, and went outside of their comfort zones because of their love for each other. Just looking at the lyrics, one of their friends is in trouble, they just take it for granted “Of course we’re going to help, she needs us, we’ll be there for her, no matter what we have to do.” What a perfect metaphor for the bride/groom and friends and family mentality!

Twilight can be totally considered a Bridezilla in this scenario. She is so caught up in her own life and what’s going on, she inadvertently causes a bunch of problems, not realizing how it affects her loved ones. Sound familiar? You have to realize, that on a day to day basis, Twilight is an OCD flaky neurotic mess. Looking over Spike the Dragon's shoulder as Twilight Sparkle the unicorn ponders with a furrowed brow the checked box of her checklist, marking that the checklists have been completed. She has mental breakdowns if things aren’t perfect (enough said), she has checklists of the checklists she has (hello wedding checklist overload), often turns to books to research the appropriate way to experience life (wedding magazines, inspiration blogs and Pinterest), when her friends became gray and displayed characteristics that were the opposite of the essence of who they are, she selfishly ignored it in order to focus on her quest (insert 90% of wedding forum posts here), and she’s so obsessed with being perfect that she will commit kind of scary, slightly sociopathic acts so she can accomplish her end goal (see almost any wedding related movie/TV show ever created).

But in this episode, she screws up, and is horrified. Then, she works with helping her friends BE HAPPY. Let’s apply wedding logic to this again. Imagine Twilight is getting married and has given her loved ones “assignments”. Things like researching vendors, getting the guest list together, DIY projects, emotional support, bridal showers, bachelorette party, etc. Society has destined that her Maid of Honor/BFF should take charge of certain aspects of this process, that Bridesmaids should help with all the crafty stuff, family members do guest lists, etc. There are a lot of expectations built into this. But here’s the deal. Sometimes, those jobs aren’t a good fit for people. They’re just not. Now your loved ones probably won’t say anything, they’ll likely just shut up and try their best, all the while being miserable, but suffering in silence because they love you. Now if you realize this, where do you go from here? Do you sit down with them and give them lessons? Talk them through bit by bit?

Twilight didn’t try to force her friends to enjoy the stuff they were miserable about. She didn’t teach Pinkie Pie about picking apples, or Applejack that you really don’t need patches on everything, she didn’t help Fluttershy throw a party, teach Rarity the true meaning of weather patterns, or put a “Be good or else” spell on the animals that were running wild and making Dashie sad. (There is a special place in hell for those who make Dashie sad)  Instead, she helped them each discover what they were good at, screw destiny. This is even more of a big deal when you remember how obsessed with knowledge Twilight typically is. Twilight Sparkle sits in the library and says "Oooo" as she holds Star Swirl the Bearded's journal and a letter from Princess Celestia aloft in the pink aura of her magic.Beginning of the series Twilight would have said “Oh crap, my friends are suffering, but finishing this spell is really important! Think of how happy I’ll make the Princess! Besides, if I fix it, everything will be back to normal. They’re my friends, they’ll understand.” Current Twilight, goddess worthy Twilight, she said “HELL NO! I need to un-miserable my friends!”

So what if your Maid of Honor is a bookworm who hates parties? Let her help you with finding great deals and ideas. If your bridesmaids are better suited to ordering cocktails than crafting bunting, give them the run of your bachelorette party. Your mom in tears at the thought of cutting people from the guest list? Have someone else who is a realist take a look and make the edits. Or if the people you want to stand up with you aren’t really available for emotionally heart wrenching crying time? Let them off the hook, and find someone who is. Your loved ones are there to support you, and by extension they support the other people you love. Don’t compartmentalize people, just let them enjoy helping you with their natural talents, regardless of what society says they’re supposed to do. Give them the opportunity to enjoy participating and being a part of your wedding.

Then, if My Little Pony is correct, you get to go down an aisle with with an entourage, in a pretty dress and tiara, give a speech and fly around the castle on your new found purple wings. Although, as you know, the aisle, dress, tiara and entourage, aren’t necessary, I would definitely try for the flying bit though.

Ang Jandak plans and writes about weddings, usually in conjunction with something wholly inappropriate, but that’s just how she rolls. She never recovered from the trauma of all her ponies being sold in a yard sale for a quarter.


The Method of my Madness - Week 5 of Prosperity's Kitchen

Because people probably think I’m crazy…  I have a really convoluted way of picking keywords, in fact usually I don’t, not because I have a problem thinking of them, but I’m a big fan of “Write good stuff and they will come”  Basically, I do love My Little Pony, but it is also the fastest growing fandom around right now. Add to that, one of my biggest peeves with the wedding industry is men being ignored, and a very large vocal part of this fan base are men, with the average age of 18-35. I’m serious, look it up.

This fandom has received international attention, and recently there was an excellent documentary released delving deep into the phenomena. For the most part, the bronies are a ridiculously creative and welcoming community centered around promoting love and tolerance. If these aren’t my ideal clients, I don’t know who is. When I initially started this, the competition for “My Little Pony Wedding” was low, but since I wrote it it went up to medium. Which is weird… But it gets 22,000 global hits and 12,100 local hits a month. For something as niched as this, I’m happy with those numbers. I also added assorted Google food for other keyword phrases that didn’t have much competition.  But I don’t feel like my overall post was “lost” by being buried in keywords, and that’s really important to me.

3 comments on “Twilight Sparkle is Best Bridezilla

  1. This is Absolutely Brilliant.

    (Also, I <3 Applejack.)

  2. Birdy Diamond on said:

    This post only makes me adore you more. :-) :>

    Thank you for joining the Kitchen so that we could meet! (Among many other things of course. :-D :> )

  3. Shaun Roney on said:

    This post was brilliant and so well written. A great story and really relatable. I’m glad it came up in the chat the other day so I could track back and read it.

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