My name is Ang (Rhymes with “flange”) Jandak. I was what is referred to in polite circles as a “Willful child”. I was stubborn, questioned everything, and surprisingly while this is frowned upon in children, this is precisely what makes you successful as an adult. (Kids take note!) My parents purchased a child psychology book to fix this problem and I promptly flushed it down t
he toilet. I was six. When I was eight I announced that when I grew up I wanted to be a MILF. (I still do)
I live with my fantasmical husband (affectionately known as “Panda”), who is basically the opposite of me in every way, shape and form. Tall/short (That pic over there is me in 4″ heels), blonde/brunette, bad boy/geek, analytical/creative, homebody/thrill seeker, musician/tone deaf, vegetables/fried dough, you get the idea. I adore him with every fiber of my being, and every once in awhile he admits to being rather fond of me.
I’m a dog person, we have three, they’re all rather large, hairy, drooly and have their own theme song. My car is 15 years old because it is made of metal and makes me feel safe. And it goes VROOM. A close friend once said “Ang has this overweening desire to know everything in the universe, just because.” I like bread; as in used to want to go to prison when I was little so I could eat bread every day. Discworld books are my crack, and I live in fear of receiving a paper cut to the eyeball. Sorting things makes me happy, tags sticking out of collars make me unhappy. I have an unhealthy obsession with pressing [literal] buttons which leads to my compulsion to own every gadget ever made, a weather predicting knee, collect hooded sweatshirts from obscure places, and before I die I want a pet otter named “Flibberty Gibbet”, and to compete in an Oxen pull with Scottish Highland steers I shall christen as “Fluffy” and “Grumpy Butt”.
Hey, I'm Ang. I'm incredibly outspoken, modestly brilliant, insanely creative, moderately OCD, have no shame and am exactly the woman you need to make sure that your one of a kind, beyond the realm of reason event goes off without a hitch.
Are you a glutton for punishment and want to know more? Then click here
Would this be an inappropriate time to tell everyone how much I love Ang? I think that woman needs to get a job as a mind reader, and get paid a f***ton of money for it, like as a consultant for wayward companies that are too incompetent to figure out what they want out of meetings. She just walks up to the CEO, reads his/her mind, and comes up with a mission statement. Come to think of that, I think every CEO should have one.
Anyway, Ang rocks in that apparently you can send her long paragraphs of disorganized wedding-related vomit, and she can figure out the exact right two sentences to summarize it into something coherent. It's like a super power. All Hail Ang.
